I am a revert, and this blog is my true story.
It was may 2011, and once again there was a heated discussion within the house. My father was saying cruel things about people with different beliefs to us, and I was adamant to stand up for them. As I tried to explain to him for the millionth time, as long as they are not harming anyone, why are we interfering with their happiness? But he did not understand, for he was a stubborn and head strong man who did not see the world in the same way I did.
My younger brother and all three of my sisters agreed with him, as they had been brought up with this mind set. Why was I so different? I did not feel like I belonged to this family, or to this way of life. I wanted a simple way of life where I could turn to God and live my life through good deeds. But in my current state I was criticised for being so good. Imagine that...at fault for not doing anything wrong.
All my friends thought I was weird for not having a boyfriend. But I did not want one. In my mind, there was something amazingly beautiful about waiting until I was married. I was not tempted at all. But why were all these people telling me I am old fashioned? Why did they laugh and predict that I would end up dying alone? Surely I was not alone in my thoughts of women having this purity? I would never ever do anything that would disrespect myself. I want to hold my head up high and be able to walk confidently with my husband without any other men pointing fingers.
No I do not want to drink or smoke. I know it is not against my religion, but why would I want to lose control over my body and intoxicate myself? It just never made sense to me. Even if all my friends were doing it, I was happy with my own choices.
I am trying to paint a picture here of how it felt to be lost in life. To know the difference between right and wrong but to not have any one else around me to agree with it. At times I would doubt myself, because how could all of the people around me be wrong? But still I stuck to my way of life because I could not stand the thought of going against my own morals.
It got the point where I became disgusted with everything that was visibly wrong/ As I grew older, I became more aware of everything around me, and I was able to become stronger in my views. I learnt everything I could, becoming stronger in my own inner-self. But for some reason I still did not feel at peace.
But everything happens for a reason, and the turn of events that was about to follow changed my life....
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