Chapter 3 - The phone call

C: Hey

Me: Hi Chota, how are you?

C: I'm ok, how are you?

Me: I'm good thanks. What's up?

C: *pause*...why do you pray to so many Gods?

Me: Well it's because different Gods symbolise different things. So they all have different roles.

C: Don't you think that's a bit stupid? How do you know which one is the right God then?

Me: they're all right I guess...or maybe there's a few main Gods, and the rest have been made up over time...

C: you don't even know? Bit pathetic...what if they're all made up then? Where's the proof?

Me: we have Holy books!

C: how many?

Me: quite a lot actually, so it must be right

C: people interpret things differently when there is one book...and you're telling me there's many books so all the books must be correct? Are you honestly saying that you think no one has adjusted them in any way over time? Your religion has been around for the longest time in your opinion....so have the books remain untouched?

Me: I...don't...I don't know...but I'll find out...anyways,every religion has that issue. People always tamper with things.

C: the Quran Sharif has never been tampered with did you know that? Even when the books were destroyed to get rid of the religion, many people had memorised it and so it never went away.

Me: that's quite beautiful, I must admit...

C: people have been trying to prove Islam wrong for a long time, but no one has ever found anything. You know what, try and find a fault. I dare you.

Me: look, I'm going to stick to looking further into my religion. I want to show you why I believe what I believe. Anyways, I've got to go now, bye.

C: ok bye

Why did I believe what I believed? Well to be honest, it was because it was what my family believed, and obviously I would not question their faith. But he had a point....all these different religions....they can't all be right because they all are different. Maybe the time had come for me to start looking into my religion and becoming stronger in my reasoning as to why I am of this religion. I don't want to give vague answers to people when they ask me. I want to give confident answers! I seem to know a lot about the traditions of my religion....such as what we wear and why we do certain rituals. But when it comes down to it, I don't have any idea where it all as originated from. I know that some people in my religion have a tendency to create new ideals, so I need to make sure I am basing my faith purely on the word of the book. Which book? Oh dear....I have so much to learn...

Chapter 1 - The start of a long journey

I am a revert, and this blog is my true story.

It was may 2011, and once again there was a heated discussion within the house. My father was saying cruel things about people with different beliefs to us, and I was adamant to stand up for them. As I tried to explain to him for the millionth time, as long as they are not harming anyone, why are we interfering with their happiness? But he did not understand, for he was a stubborn and head strong man who did not see the world in the same way I did.

My younger brother and all three of my sisters agreed with him, as they had been brought up with this mind set. Why was I so different? I did not feel like I belonged to this family, or to this way of life. I wanted a simple way of life where I could turn to God and live my life through good deeds. But in my current state I was criticised for being so good. Imagine that...at fault for not doing anything wrong.

All my friends thought I was weird for not having a boyfriend. But I did not want one. In my mind, there was something amazingly beautiful about waiting until I was married. I was not tempted at all. But why were all these people telling me I am old fashioned? Why did they laugh and predict that I would end up dying alone? Surely I was not alone in my thoughts of women having this purity? I would never ever do anything that would disrespect myself. I want to hold my head up high and be able to walk confidently with my husband without any other men pointing fingers.

No I do not want to drink or smoke. I know it is not against my religion, but why would I want to lose control over my body and intoxicate myself? It just never made sense to me. Even if all my friends were doing it, I was happy with my own choices.

I am trying to paint a picture here of how it felt to be lost in life. To know the difference between right and wrong but to not have any one else around me to agree with it. At times I would doubt myself, because how could all of the people around me be wrong? But still I stuck to my way of life because I could not stand the thought of going against my own morals.

It got the point where I became disgusted with everything that was visibly wrong/ As I grew older, I became more aware of everything around me, and I was able to become stronger in my views. I learnt everything I could, becoming stronger in my own inner-self. But for some reason I still did not feel at peace.

But everything happens for a reason, and the turn of events that was about to follow changed my life....